It’s the result day. There is just one place to be today –
the AAP headquarters. The volunteers deserve the coverage they are getting, the
candidates and the leadership come out smiling to give the expected “aam-aadmi ki jeet” bytes.
As they catch their breath, their national convenor calls
the important men inside to begin work – yes, you read it right – WORK! They
are, after all, the party with a difference.
Ashutosh: Congrachulashuns Sir! We difitted BJP! You are CM
of the Delhi.
AK: Relax Ashu, relax. Leave the celebrations to until we’re
in front of the cameras. It’s time to work now. Someone get me our Manifesto.
*Some frantic searching around until a voice booms*
Raghav Chaddha: SIR! I DON’T THINK WE HAVE ANY COPIES LEFT!
WE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL, AND GOT RID OF IT ON THE DAY OF
POLLING!
AK: Salim ji, you see what kind of people we have here? And
Raghav, I told you to save your shouting for The Newshour.
*Silence in the room for 5 minutes*
Yogendra Yadav: Oh, you were talking to me! I totally forgot
about that Salim card I played during the Lok Sabha Elections.
AK: Please people. We don’t have much time before we’re
asked questions. Let’s concentrate on work. Someone find the tweet we all
posted with the manifesto and read the first point.
Raghav Chaddha: I found one from the 2013 elections lying
outside.
AK: Never mind, it was all the same. Bring that one and
start reading out point by point.
Raghav Chaddha: Free water for all citiz…
AK: Salim ji, write down – “BJP led Haryana Government not
releasing enough water to reach Delhi” against point number 1.
Prashant Bhushan: Are they not?
AK: Do we care? Next point, Raghav.
Raghav Chaddha: Electricity at half the…
AK: Salim ji, you already know this one, right? Ambani,
power control, BJP agent and all.
Yogendra Yadav: Yes sir! This excuse is my favourite, memorised
it by now.
Ashutosh: Sir jeenius. What about the new point this time -
about wife?
AK: Not wife, WiFi you fool! But valid question. How do we
evade that promise?
Ashish Khaitan: Sir I think we can conduct an SMS Survey and
prove that most people don’t need it. Anyways most people just open a few top
known sites.
Somnath Bharti: HOW
DARE YOU REMIND EVERYONE OF TOP SITES?
AK: Not your Top Sites domain, Waqeel Sahab. He meant places at high altitude where WiFi signals are
stronger. Leave that to me. 3 should be good enough for now, we’ll prepare the
next set of excuses after a while. Everybody split to different news channels. Show
out the ‘V’ with your fingers like I taught you last week. And don’t forget to
thank Bedi ji.
DISCLAIMER - This conversation may not (or may?) have actually happened. Reader discretion is advised as in the past, certain groups of people have been known to take offense to anything said against The Mufflerman (The name scares me now!). He's the hero Swaraj City (potentially the new name of Delhi) required as per the mandate. And though it's hot enough here to even wear a pullover, I will say - May The Muffler Never Come Off !
